Step Two was about writing your own affirmations to help you stay positive.

Step Three got you off the sofa and exercising your right to be fit and trim.

Step Four was all about taking the time to meditate and getting centered in your universe.

Step Five found you getting silly and feeling better for letting your hair way down.

Step Six You know what it is. No, well then get quiet ask your Intuition.

Step Seven is about empowering the world when you volunteer.

Step Eight gave you permission to whine a little bit. Just a little bit.

Step Nine taught you that “Just” is just another four-letter word.

Now that we are on Step 10. I hope that you will all keep your eye on all the things that make us grateful to be alive at the beginning of 2010.  We have come a long way. We know that having a fulfilling and fun life (yes, life needs to be fun for adults also) can mean shattering the glass ceiling or painting it purple. We have seen the rewards that hard work can bring, and we should always look forward to changing or reinventing ourselves whether it is where we will live, whom we will love or what laws and social mores will work for us. Or need to be changed.

Some days, gratitude shows up; some days, we have to dig deep for it, but it is there. At the end of a long day,  go over all the things you are grateful for: your child’s smile, an opportunity to help someone, the weather did not cause a bad hair day, your husband’s offer to cook (or bring home take out) and a foot rub that will bring a perfect ending to a day that started out 18 hours earlier. Keep the knowledge that in the days to come, you will see glimmers of happiness and potential as long as you stay alert and open to what life will throw your way and know for sure that the good news is that there is good news in our lives.

        

Step Two was about writing your own affirmations to help you stay positive.

Step Three got you off the sofa and exercising your right to be fit and trim.

Step Four was all about taking the time to meditate and getting centered in your universe.

Step Five found you getting silly and feeling better for letting your hair way down.

Step Six You know what it is. No, well then get quiet ask your Intuition.

Step Seven is about empowering the world when you volunteer.

Step Eight gave you permission to whine a little bit. Just a little bit.

My hearing (or lack of it, according to some people) has become highly sensitive to the expression that begins with, “I’m just….”

Maybe it comes from years of personal experience, but I try to be so careful about what I say about myself —either to myself or to the general public.

Most women don’t say the words, “I’m just” and follow it with…“fabulous,” “so excited about my job (or future),” “so mindful of my own goodness,” “a healthy person with so much energy” or phrases like, “I am just so grateful to be able to get up each day and explore new options.”

No, nowadays it seems to proceed, “I’m just not getting anyplace with this job”; “I’m just never going to move ahead with my life”; and my least favorite, “I’m just not good enough to matter.”

You can change the way you view yourselves by adjusting the “just channel” in your heads. It won’t happen overnight, but you can start by becoming aware of their self-defeating slogans.

Try to look at it this way – when we were kids, we couldn’t say certain words or else we would suffer some nasty consequences. Start to think of “I’m just” as a phrase that could cause your dear great grandmother Tillie to faint dead away. Or even better, utter those words and have a “time out corner” dedicated in your name. Let “I’m just” start to taste like Irish Spring on your tongue. I can still taste it, but that’s a whole different story.  Mmmmm…good.

One way to strike it rich before “I’m just” leaves your repertoire is to keep a jar handy and every time you say that dastardly expression, throw in a dollar. You just might jet off to Europe for a month’s vacation, all expenses paid, or you just might end up with moths flying around the jar.

I am just so sure that we can change the way we think about ourselves.

Ralphie from ‘A Christmas Story’ said he became a connoisseur of soap because his mom so often stuck bars of soap in his mouth.  I wonder if it was for saying “just?”

        

Step Two was about writing your own affirmations to help you stay positive.

Step Three got you off the sofa and exercising your right to be fit and trim.

Step Four was all about taking the time to meditate and getting centered in your universe.

Step Five found you getting silly and feeling better for letting your hair way down.

Step Six You know what it is. No, well then get quiet ask your Intuition.

Step Seven is about empowering the world when you volunteer.

Okay it is time to take off the sweet persona that we show to the world and whine, but only for less than five minutes. Otherwise, it starts to get ugly.

Who said a dream recognized would mean a life without annoying interruptions? I know better than to utter those words.

We live here and we can’t all go move to a deserted island. Oh, some could, but then we’d have a lot of people wanting to visit and that would get annoying. Insert whine.

Since we are all living on this planet, the deal is to let everyone live in peace, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get crabby once in a while. It’s alright.  It’s our right.  We need to know that to whine is divine as long as something good comes out of it. It could be the end of a relationship that has been toxic, a new idea cropping out of all the venting, or a feeling of cleansing and freedom.

If it’s good for the soul than I approve.  In fact, I feel a whine coming on right now. Four minutes and 27 seconds.  I just beat my best time and I feel so much better.

Whine on!

        

I am lucky to say that I live with a wonderful ex-chef who makes fabulous meals.  He has agreed to help me out (after about 6 days of begging but whatever works!). I bought the Flat Belly cookbook and he even “post-it” a few recipes but said most of them are about portion control.

I realized sadly that I normally eat twice my weight when my chef takes a night off and we order take out. So I told him no more take out and on the evenings that he deserves a night off, I will find myself in the kitchen and putting together something that resembles food. So this was good news. Today is Day One. Yesterday was Moe’s Mexican food.                      

The other thing I realized that is has to taste so bloody good for me to go off this new way of eating – my new lifestyle. If I am going to have the best Mexican food again it will be from the Mexican deli on Valencia in San Francisco. It will also be a very expensive meal since I live in NY. So I will let you know when hell freezes over.

I did more work on the coaches on the edge’s book proposal and got some of it back from my copyeditor friend. Once these sections are done – we will be that much closer to getting it out to overly eager literary agents who will get us a great publisher who will give us anything we want. That’s legal.

I am keeping this short and I hope you will join in and let us know how you are doing and how we can help keep you on track. One of the things I want to do is take better care of me. So I did 2.14 miles on the treadmill and now I am off to have a HOT, smoothing bath. Here is NY the wind is whipping and the temps are really dipping below zero.   

So do tell!

        

I was one lucky intuitive coach wanna be when I heard about Tara Roth.  She is clever, insightful and brings much to all who want to learn more about their intuition and how it will make their lives better.

Tara just posted her first You Tube video and I wanted to share it with you all. More to come, but you knew that.

        

Step Two: We are still working on you. Becoming first does not happen overnight, but practice becomes reality with a little more work.  We are coming to the part of the dreaded homework assignment. I am out of school, you are thinking, and my diploma is hanging on the wall. We are never too old to learn something new. Your family and coworkers will admire and respect you even more. If that is possible.

Get a pen (pencils are still for sissies) and a journal, or a bunch of index cards or use the backside of your grocery bill and…write every day.  Find five minutes and write positive affirmations. Index cards are great because you can put them everywhere. Grocery bill receipts may not be pretty, but put your affirmations on the fridge or any place else where you know you will be visiting more than once a day. And read them. And say them out loud with conviction. No positive thought is too small or too big. Open up that journal and repeat after me, “I deserve all the best that life has to offer. I know by loving myself first that I can love my family and friends and dare I say it, myself, more everyday.” Nice plug for me, eh?

My affirmation this week is “I am prefect today. And tomorrow is looking even better.”  And I raise my voice with one brown and one black shoe on. Note to self:  Turn on a light in the morning, would ya?

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

        

Whether you are planning on reinventing yourself after retirement, or you are working as a high level professional or you are somewhere in between, you need to take charge of My New Balance Sheet for My Life and with pen in hand (pencils are for sissies) begin to enter things that really make you happy. Happiness during a recession is possible.  Repeat as needed.

As I look down at my list (yes, I did one before I signed on), I see some very basic entries that will not shock you, but the order may make you go, “What is this woman thinking?”

Number One – I top the charts with a couple of gold stars next to my name. I needed to take ownership of it. You need to take ownership of it.  Right now.  If I decided, for whatever silly, insecure reason, to lower myself to the bottom of my balance sheet, then I would be guilty of not being the best mother, wife, partner, business women, entrepreneur, friend or extraordinary woman that I know is hiding inside of me.

Yes, trust me,   it took some time for little old me to realize this, but we must be number one in our lives. Once you are filled with love and admiration for yourself, then that love and admiration will radiate out to warm the hearts of all who come in contact with you. You know how the Sun is in the middle of it all? How life would not be able to exist without its rays? Well, from now on you are an excellent facsimile of that Number One Planet. Just don’t leave home without the SPF#15.

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

        

I decided to take this 12 week blogging teleclass – what’s wrong with a little more info? In my world – that word is “plenty.” OMG- I feel my tiny little brain cells begging for mercy, asking for forgiveness if they think they trespassed against me and sleep becomes something my neighbors only do.

The first class I knew I was in trouble. Terms I have never heard before. Writing code and all this crap that you do behind the scenes. Plus, the class is 2 hours long on a Monday afternoon. Makes me wish for my old job at Doubleday. Hmmm..note to self: last boss was and still is a psycho that would scare the hell out of Norman Bates.

Does anyone ever feel like they can’t possibly take in any more info less their brains explode? I actually feel my temperature go up, my eyes dry up, my hair becomes dry and brittle and breaks off, I can’t lift my legs and I think my body weight goes up at least 10% – all for more info on blogging?

My teacher is brilliant, but I fear she may have me killed. Not like I would fault her for putting a contract out on me. I would. But, she is also so patient and does not talk down and actually does cheer you on- that you will get it. Yeah, right. Have you seen inside my brain lately? A sidebar- you know when your doctor is examining your eyes and he or she is not an eye doctor – well, ask them what they are looking at. Answer – it’s your brain.

My teacher is also from the south and my voice must crackle into her ear canal. This New Yorker, whose organs are sweating profusely, finds the soft tones almost soothing until I can’t add or delete some thing I cannot identify or what theme will work best for me. I told her bright red. I picked a peaceful, “zen” green and realized that I will more than likely change it again. There is a knock at my front door – it’s the hit man. Oh, he’s very polite. Must be those southern manners I hear about.

I did mention to her that I do blog for skirt! and she knows skirt!. she can go down the block and pick up a copy. I have mine flown in and delivered to my doorstep.

I have no idea where I am going with this blog, but maybe to say, “Thanks, Teach.” One day this stuff will make sense and then I will pass it on to someone else. Because my brain just can’t hold all this stuff.

        

As told to ET by Elliot.

About a week ago I woke up in the middle of the night and heard someone say, “Why don’t you write about me?” I was pretty sure I recognized that voice.

The next morning I picked up a book, opened it and read, “I will believe in you every day of my life.” Okay, so this person is not so subtle!

David is my Elliot. We met 25 years ago. We were both 12 (we were mature for our age) and were employed in the Direct Mail/Advertising department at Bloomingdale’s in Manhattan.

We had that comfort level that comes from knowing someone in another place and time. Don’t know the place or time but we have all met people where there is such a connection right away. If not, please get out more. They are out there. They would like to meet you. Again.

“I will believe in you every day of my life” friends are such an extraordinary gift.

When you feel like a stuffed pig in that little black dress that you didn’t buy on sale, they will tell you that your legs go on for days (they won’t mention that your rent is overdue).

When you break up with a bad boyfriend (and I don’t mean the “good” bad) they are there to soothe your broken heart (or was it the ego?).

When you continue to break up with the before mentioned bad boyfriends they exhibit courage by slipping the business card of a very good therapist in your hand.

When you are blind to your extraordinary and dazzling attributes they are there to tell you that you were always clever, compelling, amusing and a good dancer.

When they stay on the phone with you for three hours they will say it’s because your melodic voice totally engages them. They will never mention that they ran out of sleeping pills and that the drugstore is closed.

When they make you stretch beyond your comfort level and you start to feel the glimmer of your new life emerging, they are there to welcome you home.

There should be a national holiday for “I will believe in you everyday of my life” friends.

Now in fairness to me, I’m a “I will believe in you every day of my life” friend to David. I always felt he did more to enrich my life, but if I think of all the adventures we went thru together (and survived), I know I kept up with him just fine.

We were struggling writers who had a gem of an idea for a TV show about 2 friends(how original): he the handsome, intelligent entrepreneur who saves world from ugly visible panty lines and she the clumsy, sarcastic (and outrageously breathtaking looking) woman who bought all the nations of the world to the peace table and just left them there.

Sadly we never got the chance to write our show. David passed away on Thanksgiving in 1997 from AIDS. It still takes my breath away. I lost my safety net. My darling friend.

Call a friend today and tell them why you believe in them. Then show them that you do. Make another call but don’t stay on the phone all the time. Let someone else have the chance to call you and tell you that they will believe in you every day of their lives.

Elliot found that friendship in ET as I found that unwavering friendship in David. But how unfair it is that David’s the cute, wide-eyed boy while I ended up butt naked with a big fat bald head.

And David, if you are listening, “Call home.” Again.

Visiting David in AZ.

        

All  their answers were brilliant and I thank them for their courage to be truthful (you all were, weren’t you?) and my hope is that all will  get so close to their dreams that they can feel it, taste it and know it to be true.

I also want to say that I am a very lucky woman to have these women in my life

Jennifer Ross, President & Marketing Strategist, http://activentrepreneur.com/

I actually started looking at what would make me happy a few years ago. It is not always so easy to identify what that is and I am still in the process of figuring that out. My career happiness centers around marketing, animals and health/fitness.From a health & fitness perspective I have taken a bunch of steps to explore those dreams including launching an entrepreneurial community that networks while being active, taking a 12 week personal training certification to explore the field and learn the basics, mentoring with an established personal trainer in return for some marketing help, and focusing a greater deal of effort and time on my own fitness by training for a mini triathlon.

Beth Costello, Artist and teacher www.bethcostellosimplyme.com

The one thing I have always wanted to do was to be an archaeologist, and travel the world digging up artifacts. Even before Indiana Jones arrived I was cutting pictures from National Geographic, and Archaeology magazines making scrapbooks. Two things I could do to bring me closer to this goal…hmm! 1) Research classes on line and go back to school. 2 )Find groups that allow you to pay to go on sites and dig for a length of time.

Furahi Achebe, Chemistry Consultant day job and President; Elite Media Productions LLC (every other moment)

I would work full time in media if the opportunity presented itself. I tried this in 2007 when I didn’t have the savings and I almost lost the house from under me and my kids. If I had funding for my video projects I’d quit my day job in a heartbeat.

I am already shooting my project at my own expense. As for the two steps I could take – 1) I need to seek funding and 2) get publicity.

Jane Beller – Educator

Become a travel guide in historic and exotic places

What 2 steps could you take to get closer to that goal/dream?

1) Learn Spanish

2) Get a connection with a tour company by traveling myself to exotic places. Maybe land a job with a travel company that has to set up trips. I already have people skills and the patience of a saint and am highly organized believe it or not.

Jane Cairns Irvine – Glassworks by JCI http://www.glassismyname.etsy.com

I would love to be able to make a large scale installation using recycled glass and other materials. something that would be shown in

the Museum of Art and design or MOMA or other contemporary art museum. Since completing my Waves of Change sculpture, I think the two steps that would bring me closer to this dream is to

1. Continue making more sculptures expanding on the idea in other ways 2. To send photos and information to curators of museums, press releases to art magazines and to newspapers.

Now that i have actually written this down, it seems attainable.

Kim Sisto Robinson: Educator, Writer, Freedom Fighter

I would travel to Kenya if given the opportunity. I would go to Kogony first and then Nairobi….see what I could do to empower girls….Meet Mercy Adhiambo (Mercy has been my connection to another world…another way of life. She has been my awakening to women’s oppression and how ignorance can kill…. Mercy is my friend, daughter, pen pal, and hero.
First step would be to do fund raising for money…(Which we do now for Mercy) and the second thing would be to get others aboard to make my vision happen….I believe when others have the same vision, our dreams come true faster!

Laurie Lawson CEC, PCC – Professional Life Coach – http://www.eljny.com/ and one half of the brilliant Coaches on the Edge blogging duo! And the only other queen in the group besides myself. http://www.skirt.com/user/8507/view

I feel fortunate that I (and fate) have maneuvered my life so that I pretty much get to do a lot of what I like already, but if I could pluck a blossom off the wishin’ tree, I think it would be that I would write that book that occasionally bubbles up inside me. Not very original I admit – who doesn’t want to write The Great American Novel? – but I enjoy writing. And even more importantly, I am positive that no one else has had the bizarre experiences I have had. My subject matter would probably be my stay in India where I lived on a guru’s ayurvedic farm with saints dressed in orange togas who were not allowed to speak directly to me while taking care of my husband. No, it’s not science fiction.

As with everything else in my life so far, the two steps that would get me there would be (1) decide to do it and (2) do it.

Sheryl Dluginski, Owner of Generations Fitness, LLC, a holistic fitness consulting business. http://www.generationsfitness.net

I would like to start and run an organization that makes holistic health services accessible and affordable to all.

Step 1: Re-organize operations in my current business in order to free up time and money which will then be re-directed toward this dream.

Step 2: Research pros and cons of possible types of organizations in order to make a decision on whether it will be a non-profit, a for-profit hybrid, a foundation or a co-op.

LAS – alas this mysterious woman is not wanted by any law enforcement agency

I think I would be infinitely happier if I could write — fiction or journalism or both — fulltime again. I also would like to be far from the madding crowd, but also closer to friends and family.

So my two steps to achieve those goals:

1) Stupidly in this job market, I might actually look for another job that puts writing first and foremost in the job description. However, I can always freelance, so I expect to — and it would be more practical for me — to look for opportunities in that marketplace.

2) Although it may seem foolish in this real estate market, we are also looking for another house closer to some family — and maybe a second home that our children can invest in/visit/inherit.

Meg Eilidh Greene, Writer

Meg is a freelancer in Connecticut. She visited Scotland for 5 weeks in 08-09 to research her epic historic fiction novel, THE RELIC-a tale of love and unlikely heroes set in Dark Ages Britain at the dawn of the Viking Age. In the process, she fell madly in love with the place and its people. She will return.

I’d like to hike St. Cuthbert’s Way (yes, there really was a St. Cuthbert) in the Scottish Border country from Melrose to Lindisfarne Island. It’s a marked trail with officially protected natural landscapes, however it does present opportunities to stop at the odd pub along the way. It’s also in or close to bird migratory patterns, so there is even more to see at certain times of the year.

I’ve already taken several steps:

I’ve spent some time in that area last year, so I know what the weather and terrain are like. I made friends who would put me up before and after the hike. I have a willing hiking companion in my daughter, Esme. I already own some outdoor gear that I could use.

Next I could get a job and start a little savings account earmarked for it.

After I do that hike, I could figure out the next hike I want to take.

S.J. Parrott

One thing I would try if the opportunity presented itself would be to be a cloistered nun. (Ok, you can stop laughing now.) Since the world has become decreasingly reverent toward God and increasingly immoral during the past 50 years of my life, I have come to realize that happiness is something not of this world. Happiness is all about heaven. It’s about serving God in the here and now. You see, I never thought I was “good enough” to be a nun when I was young, so I went to college, stumbled into love and into publishing, got married, had two children and voila, now I’m old and still seeking holiness.

To reach my goal presents a problem. My husband would have to perish and my daughter would need to be raised by someone else. My son is of legal age, but might think my late calling in life odd. Since neither step would be beneficial to me or to my family-it only would be beneficial to achieving the goal itself-I suddenly realize that I do not need to achieve the goal. I have heaven on earth and all the happiness I need and want. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Elizabeth.

CH would like to have been a nurse.
Two steps to get closer, my kids have to grow up and not need me as much. They are 7 and 2 and need a full time Mommy. So my dream of being a nurse has to be put on the back burner and I am OK with that. Nothing is more important than my family. Maybe I’ll go back to school for it some day and maybe I won’t. I have to see what the future holds but I am enjoying my life now.

Sign me, Bonnie T
Funny you should ask. Last week I started taking Reiki healing classes after being told by four separate psychics that I have an affinity for healing that needs to be developed. Being a very spiritual person, and having done “research” on many spiritual issues over the last 25 years, the thought that I could put something into practice that could benefit others was an exciting prospect. Although I’m a writer by trade, and this is clearly something that’s a bit different for me, I feel like I’m embarking on a whole new method of expression, one that could make a real difference to the people around me. So the steps I’ve taken are signing up for classes, and practicing to see exactly what my abilities are as a healer. I never imagined I’d be doing anything other than writing (and of course I’m still doing that), but somehow this has afforded me the opportunity to explore a new side of myself.

JC may have already gotten an answer!

I have long wanted to own a consignment/resale shop. I started shopping at such stores about 20 years ago and that concept always appealed to me. Unfortunately, I was always busy with family and work and probably didn’t have the courage to venture out on my own. If I had to do it again, I would actively seek someone with whom to partner and just take the plunge. Maybe it’s not too late.

P.S. – she emailed that something may be coming up, so let’s all keep a good thought for her.

Another one who wanted to be known as Queen, so I will bestow the title on her – Queen Patty responds:

Wow hard question…….the one of many things that would make me happier (I’m pretty happy now!) would be to travel with John….I would love to first take the time & second have the money to just take off & go where ever….John is a pilot & it would be fun to just jump into a plane, file a flight plan & go!!!!!
The two steps I could take to get closer to my goal: Win a Lottery & give up the idea that I am the only one that can do my job…..learn to give up a little of the control!

Baby D Art Director – this girl can paint with a brush or words!

I have read so many novels about “mature” women (I mean gals with some miles on them – well earned, of course – and definitely born before the Beatles came to America!) leaving their boring jobs, exasperating lovers and over-priced neighborhoods to start over in some sunny, quirky, romantic, adventure-filled European country. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I’ve seen Mama Mia – the play and the movie – more times than any sophisticated New Yorker would care to admit.

And everytime I always think to myself…Aaahhhhhhh…I could definitely live life under the Tuscan sun, or below a Mediterranean moon or surrounded by Provencal stars. I’d gladly turn in my undervalued dollars for Euros in a heartbeat. Since we’re talking pie-in-the-sky, this is how a typical day in my dream life would pan out…After having spent the morning working on yet another oil painting of the fishing boats on the beautiful Italian coastline, I would wander into my favorite sun-drenched, happy cafe on top of the beach cliffs for a delicious espresso. While conversing in Italian (which I slowly, but surely become better and better at) with the cafe owner about my morning’s accomplishment, an admiring tourist on holiday would absolutely need to own a piece of my artwork to help them remember their wonderful trip. Now comes the tricky part. I would have to take care of a few details to complete Step 1 of the process to my new dream life. First, I would take my Salvador Dali finger puppet (my only personal possession at work) home from the job one night, and never return again. Next, I’d sell my property tax-loving (although beautiful) home, to a thirty-something The-World-Is-My-Oyster Manhattan transplanted couple. And lastly, I’d ask my Lover to leave old anxieties and worries behind, and to put love before everything else and come away with me. With these 3 missions accomplished, on to Step 2.

Step 2 is to live with my new freedom after dumping all that stuff from Step 1. The daily 9-5 never allowed me to be the creative person that I am. How can an artist be stuck in an office building, for 8 hours a day, in a room “decorated” with gray carpet? I will paint everyday in my new life. Possessions grow to possess us after a while, and we exist just to gather more “things”. My two favorite possessions are my cats, and they are always happy to see me. I will only keep things in my life that give me inner joy. At last but not least of all, my partner will not just be a mere part of daily living. We won’t judge each other’s differences and criticize them, but grow to appreciate them and value them. I will be in love everyday without condition. To be happy, I need creativity, joy and love. And having all that while living on the Amalfi coast would certainly be a bonus. Much love to all of the Brilliant Women who also shared their thoughts.