So Step One found you moving on up to the place where we all belong – the top of our list!

And Step Two found you scribbling little love notes to yourself. Keep them coming. And maybe write one for your partner, spouse, child, friend, co-worker, neighbor, etc. You get the idea. Expand the love out to the universe. Write it down and let the love continue to flow. Who knows the Nobel Prize for Love could be yours one day! Right after I receive mine.

Step Three will get you off the furniture and exercising your right to be fit and trim.  

Step Three: Shake it. Move it. Walk it off. Work up a sweat. Get your body moving and grooving.  The reports just came out we as a nation are becoming heavier and less fit. Colorado was the only state to have the least number of obese people but it is an alarming 18.9%.  In 1991 not one state had an obsess rate higher than 20 %.( Trust for America’s Health Report). Yikes!

I have a confession to make. I have been a bit of a slacker in the area of Step Three. But I promise to do better.  I do. I promise.

Start slow, but get off that sofa and put the Ding Dong down.  It all comes down to loving yourself enough to gift yourself with some extra years to be with your loved ones. So join a gym, get a buddy to go walking and lift some weights. Put the fork down after one serving and drink your water. If it doesn’t make a difference in your life, don’t eat it. If you would kill for it then I would say have two spoonfuls and then put it away. A little more savoring means a little less laboring at the gym.

I got a pedometer strapped to me and from the looks of it, my yellow lab and I have a date to walk another 2,000 steps right after dinner. Of course, we will have to stop every two feet. I have no idea what she is sniffing at (yes, I do) and I really don’t ask too many questions. I’m just gonna walk.  My butt off.

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

        

All  their answers were brilliant and I thank them for their courage to be truthful (you all were, weren’t you?) and my hope is that all will  get so close to their dreams that they can feel it, taste it and know it to be true.

I also want to say that I am a very lucky woman to have these women in my life

Jennifer Ross, President & Marketing Strategist, http://activentrepreneur.com/

I actually started looking at what would make me happy a few years ago. It is not always so easy to identify what that is and I am still in the process of figuring that out. My career happiness centers around marketing, animals and health/fitness.From a health & fitness perspective I have taken a bunch of steps to explore those dreams including launching an entrepreneurial community that networks while being active, taking a 12 week personal training certification to explore the field and learn the basics, mentoring with an established personal trainer in return for some marketing help, and focusing a greater deal of effort and time on my own fitness by training for a mini triathlon.

Beth Costello, Artist and teacher www.bethcostellosimplyme.com

The one thing I have always wanted to do was to be an archaeologist, and travel the world digging up artifacts. Even before Indiana Jones arrived I was cutting pictures from National Geographic, and Archaeology magazines making scrapbooks. Two things I could do to bring me closer to this goal…hmm! 1) Research classes on line and go back to school. 2 )Find groups that allow you to pay to go on sites and dig for a length of time.

Furahi Achebe, Chemistry Consultant day job and President; Elite Media Productions LLC (every other moment)

I would work full time in media if the opportunity presented itself. I tried this in 2007 when I didn’t have the savings and I almost lost the house from under me and my kids. If I had funding for my video projects I’d quit my day job in a heartbeat.

I am already shooting my project at my own expense. As for the two steps I could take – 1) I need to seek funding and 2) get publicity.

Jane Beller – Educator

Become a travel guide in historic and exotic places

What 2 steps could you take to get closer to that goal/dream?

1) Learn Spanish

2) Get a connection with a tour company by traveling myself to exotic places. Maybe land a job with a travel company that has to set up trips. I already have people skills and the patience of a saint and am highly organized believe it or not.

Jane Cairns Irvine – Glassworks by JCI http://www.glassismyname.etsy.com

I would love to be able to make a large scale installation using recycled glass and other materials. something that would be shown in

the Museum of Art and design or MOMA or other contemporary art museum. Since completing my Waves of Change sculpture, I think the two steps that would bring me closer to this dream is to

1. Continue making more sculptures expanding on the idea in other ways 2. To send photos and information to curators of museums, press releases to art magazines and to newspapers.

Now that i have actually written this down, it seems attainable.

Kim Sisto Robinson: Educator, Writer, Freedom Fighter

I would travel to Kenya if given the opportunity. I would go to Kogony first and then Nairobi….see what I could do to empower girls….Meet Mercy Adhiambo (Mercy has been my connection to another world…another way of life. She has been my awakening to women’s oppression and how ignorance can kill…. Mercy is my friend, daughter, pen pal, and hero.
First step would be to do fund raising for money…(Which we do now for Mercy) and the second thing would be to get others aboard to make my vision happen….I believe when others have the same vision, our dreams come true faster!

Laurie Lawson CEC, PCC – Professional Life Coach – http://www.eljny.com/ and one half of the brilliant Coaches on the Edge blogging duo! And the only other queen in the group besides myself. http://www.skirt.com/user/8507/view

I feel fortunate that I (and fate) have maneuvered my life so that I pretty much get to do a lot of what I like already, but if I could pluck a blossom off the wishin’ tree, I think it would be that I would write that book that occasionally bubbles up inside me. Not very original I admit – who doesn’t want to write The Great American Novel? – but I enjoy writing. And even more importantly, I am positive that no one else has had the bizarre experiences I have had. My subject matter would probably be my stay in India where I lived on a guru’s ayurvedic farm with saints dressed in orange togas who were not allowed to speak directly to me while taking care of my husband. No, it’s not science fiction.

As with everything else in my life so far, the two steps that would get me there would be (1) decide to do it and (2) do it.

Sheryl Dluginski, Owner of Generations Fitness, LLC, a holistic fitness consulting business. http://www.generationsfitness.net

I would like to start and run an organization that makes holistic health services accessible and affordable to all.

Step 1: Re-organize operations in my current business in order to free up time and money which will then be re-directed toward this dream.

Step 2: Research pros and cons of possible types of organizations in order to make a decision on whether it will be a non-profit, a for-profit hybrid, a foundation or a co-op.

LAS – alas this mysterious woman is not wanted by any law enforcement agency

I think I would be infinitely happier if I could write — fiction or journalism or both — fulltime again. I also would like to be far from the madding crowd, but also closer to friends and family.

So my two steps to achieve those goals:

1) Stupidly in this job market, I might actually look for another job that puts writing first and foremost in the job description. However, I can always freelance, so I expect to — and it would be more practical for me — to look for opportunities in that marketplace.

2) Although it may seem foolish in this real estate market, we are also looking for another house closer to some family — and maybe a second home that our children can invest in/visit/inherit.

Meg Eilidh Greene, Writer

Meg is a freelancer in Connecticut. She visited Scotland for 5 weeks in 08-09 to research her epic historic fiction novel, THE RELIC-a tale of love and unlikely heroes set in Dark Ages Britain at the dawn of the Viking Age. In the process, she fell madly in love with the place and its people. She will return.

I’d like to hike St. Cuthbert’s Way (yes, there really was a St. Cuthbert) in the Scottish Border country from Melrose to Lindisfarne Island. It’s a marked trail with officially protected natural landscapes, however it does present opportunities to stop at the odd pub along the way. It’s also in or close to bird migratory patterns, so there is even more to see at certain times of the year.

I’ve already taken several steps:

I’ve spent some time in that area last year, so I know what the weather and terrain are like. I made friends who would put me up before and after the hike. I have a willing hiking companion in my daughter, Esme. I already own some outdoor gear that I could use.

Next I could get a job and start a little savings account earmarked for it.

After I do that hike, I could figure out the next hike I want to take.

S.J. Parrott

One thing I would try if the opportunity presented itself would be to be a cloistered nun. (Ok, you can stop laughing now.) Since the world has become decreasingly reverent toward God and increasingly immoral during the past 50 years of my life, I have come to realize that happiness is something not of this world. Happiness is all about heaven. It’s about serving God in the here and now. You see, I never thought I was “good enough” to be a nun when I was young, so I went to college, stumbled into love and into publishing, got married, had two children and voila, now I’m old and still seeking holiness.

To reach my goal presents a problem. My husband would have to perish and my daughter would need to be raised by someone else. My son is of legal age, but might think my late calling in life odd. Since neither step would be beneficial to me or to my family-it only would be beneficial to achieving the goal itself-I suddenly realize that I do not need to achieve the goal. I have heaven on earth and all the happiness I need and want. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Elizabeth.

CH would like to have been a nurse.
Two steps to get closer, my kids have to grow up and not need me as much. They are 7 and 2 and need a full time Mommy. So my dream of being a nurse has to be put on the back burner and I am OK with that. Nothing is more important than my family. Maybe I’ll go back to school for it some day and maybe I won’t. I have to see what the future holds but I am enjoying my life now.

Sign me, Bonnie T
Funny you should ask. Last week I started taking Reiki healing classes after being told by four separate psychics that I have an affinity for healing that needs to be developed. Being a very spiritual person, and having done “research” on many spiritual issues over the last 25 years, the thought that I could put something into practice that could benefit others was an exciting prospect. Although I’m a writer by trade, and this is clearly something that’s a bit different for me, I feel like I’m embarking on a whole new method of expression, one that could make a real difference to the people around me. So the steps I’ve taken are signing up for classes, and practicing to see exactly what my abilities are as a healer. I never imagined I’d be doing anything other than writing (and of course I’m still doing that), but somehow this has afforded me the opportunity to explore a new side of myself.

JC may have already gotten an answer!

I have long wanted to own a consignment/resale shop. I started shopping at such stores about 20 years ago and that concept always appealed to me. Unfortunately, I was always busy with family and work and probably didn’t have the courage to venture out on my own. If I had to do it again, I would actively seek someone with whom to partner and just take the plunge. Maybe it’s not too late.

P.S. – she emailed that something may be coming up, so let’s all keep a good thought for her.

Another one who wanted to be known as Queen, so I will bestow the title on her – Queen Patty responds:

Wow hard question…….the one of many things that would make me happier (I’m pretty happy now!) would be to travel with John….I would love to first take the time & second have the money to just take off & go where ever….John is a pilot & it would be fun to just jump into a plane, file a flight plan & go!!!!!
The two steps I could take to get closer to my goal: Win a Lottery & give up the idea that I am the only one that can do my job…..learn to give up a little of the control!

Baby D Art Director – this girl can paint with a brush or words!

I have read so many novels about “mature” women (I mean gals with some miles on them – well earned, of course – and definitely born before the Beatles came to America!) leaving their boring jobs, exasperating lovers and over-priced neighborhoods to start over in some sunny, quirky, romantic, adventure-filled European country. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I’ve seen Mama Mia – the play and the movie – more times than any sophisticated New Yorker would care to admit.

And everytime I always think to myself…Aaahhhhhhh…I could definitely live life under the Tuscan sun, or below a Mediterranean moon or surrounded by Provencal stars. I’d gladly turn in my undervalued dollars for Euros in a heartbeat. Since we’re talking pie-in-the-sky, this is how a typical day in my dream life would pan out…After having spent the morning working on yet another oil painting of the fishing boats on the beautiful Italian coastline, I would wander into my favorite sun-drenched, happy cafe on top of the beach cliffs for a delicious espresso. While conversing in Italian (which I slowly, but surely become better and better at) with the cafe owner about my morning’s accomplishment, an admiring tourist on holiday would absolutely need to own a piece of my artwork to help them remember their wonderful trip. Now comes the tricky part. I would have to take care of a few details to complete Step 1 of the process to my new dream life. First, I would take my Salvador Dali finger puppet (my only personal possession at work) home from the job one night, and never return again. Next, I’d sell my property tax-loving (although beautiful) home, to a thirty-something The-World-Is-My-Oyster Manhattan transplanted couple. And lastly, I’d ask my Lover to leave old anxieties and worries behind, and to put love before everything else and come away with me. With these 3 missions accomplished, on to Step 2.

Step 2 is to live with my new freedom after dumping all that stuff from Step 1. The daily 9-5 never allowed me to be the creative person that I am. How can an artist be stuck in an office building, for 8 hours a day, in a room “decorated” with gray carpet? I will paint everyday in my new life. Possessions grow to possess us after a while, and we exist just to gather more “things”. My two favorite possessions are my cats, and they are always happy to see me. I will only keep things in my life that give me inner joy. At last but not least of all, my partner will not just be a mere part of daily living. We won’t judge each other’s differences and criticize them, but grow to appreciate them and value them. I will be in love everyday without condition. To be happy, I need creativity, joy and love. And having all that while living on the Amalfi coast would certainly be a bonus. Much love to all of the Brilliant Women who also shared their thoughts.

        

In grammar school, I kept my classmates entertained with some pretty inane stories while my parents were in constant contact with the principal. I had yet to learn when delivering a punch line was acceptable: All the time was not appropriate.

Years later when I moved out of my parent’s house, I took my coolest clothes, my college degree and my honed sense of humor. Those clothes no longer hang in my closet (thank God); my degree got me in the door of NYC advertising agencies, and my sense of humor kept me employed and out of trouble…sort of.

One day, I think it was a Tuesday, I was cornered by the big boss who commented that when my emails ended with a spiffy one-liner or a sarcastic blurb, the team went forth and accomplished whatever task we were knee deep in. No idle threats came from my co-workers. We all seemed to work as a well-adjusted and productive team. What were we ingesting on company time?

I was delighted (and concerned) when my sense of humor was viewed as a tool that brought people together in the workplace. From that day forward jokes were incorporated into the boss’ presentations and emails. And would I write the boss some one-liners? I begged off and explained that humor had to come from the core, the soul – what was funny to the boss’ ear? Besides me begging for my job?

What followed was a valiant attempt by my boss at reciting some tired, old jokes that were out of favor with the nuances of humor back in 1938. I cringed and slithered out of the corner office. The economy was strong back then. I could find another job.

A few weeks later our boss summoned all departments to the main conference room. I had forgotten about those threats to do stand-up at meetings. All of a sudden the silence was pierced by what appeared to be a joke coming from our boss’ lips. Not a good joke, not a horrible joke, but a small joke with a tiny punch line.

People looked around and for a few seconds there was laughter in the air. Not a lot of laughter, not too little laughter, but just enough nervous laughter for all of us to look at our boss in a new light. Some of us dared to like the boss for trying. The rest of us speculated that the boss had suffered a mini stroke.

But for that short time in history, we all appreciated the universal language of laughter. One little joke turned out to be a great equalizer. By 11 A.M. the boss went right back to biting off the heads of baby chicks, but we felt like a well-adjusted and productive team that morning.

Now, you don’t have to go as far as having open mic night in your workplace. But a little levity at work can work wonders. Humor lowers blood pressure, lessens stress and who can feel lonely when people come together and share a laugh? Just don’t let my former boss know when you are doing it. It could get ugly.

        

So, if my extra 10 lbs. were not enough of a reason for me to go off the deep end then how about all the financial news of gloom and doom?  I don’t know if you get a lot of emails on the subject, but I have been inundated with them. I broke a nail doing speed deleting, but they keep coming. Makes you wonder if they all have stock in Prozac. Only our dog has a prescription for Prozac in our household. So far.

As I am deciding whether to spend the extra money on aluminum sliding for my refrigerator box, I am looking around and realizing that there is always good news. We just need to go looking for it. Most of the time, you don’t have to look too far. If you do, let me know. You’re probably not looking at the right place. Put the newspapers down and turn off the TV. That would be an excellent start.

I decided to make a list as quickly as I could about some of the good news that has made its way into my life recently.  I think if you take the time, you might discover that we are always given good news to take the edge off the bad news that does show up in our lives. It’s like good lighting in a dressing room. It is out there. Not when I am shopping, but it is out there.

So here is a partial list of my good news:

Chicken soup that I made from scratch (and I don’t cook – trust me),

Doris (my cat with kidney disease) is a fighter and doesn’t know she is sick,

Our vet tech, Rachel, who helps Doris in the fight,

I lost 2 lbs.,

Halloween is coming (will be gaining those 2 and more back),

Old friends who won’t tell secrets (unless richly compensated for that info),

A weekend up in Rhinebeck where I met my intuitive sage – Lynn Robinson,

Gabrielle and Steve’s new baby boy – Nathan Riley,

The elections are coming,

The day after the elections is coming,

Miz Ruby, my lab who is on Prozac (It’s the elections that is making her stressed),

Walter, who I know wonders how he married a liberal with a mouth,

My book proposal,

Jen’s help with keeping me on track with it,

National blogger for Skirt! (see comment about Walter),

A home with heat and windows that don’t leak,

An upcoming women’s retreat,

My “daughter” Joey is engaged (my apologizes to the male population),

Some of my charming and funny guy friends – Lou, Derek, Johnny H and Mr. Norris,

and tomorrow.

And one more thing – Duncan’s failed attempt to knock the spider plant off the shelf and onto my head. Good thing that black cat has nine lives. And that just goes to show that the sky is not falling. It nearly knocked me out, but…

So how about trying your own list of good news? We can have a contest for the best list. I’ll even feature your good news in an upcoming newsletter. It could be a great way to end the year with a list of good news from you all. But, it’s not even Halloween yet, so I am not rushing the end of the year. Just your good news lists.

If You Were Brave

Great lyrics by Jana Stanfield, who calls herself, “The Queen of Heavy Mental.”

What would I do if I knew I could not fail?

If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail?

How far would I go, what could I achieve

Trusting the hero in me.

She ends the song with:

“If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear

What would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?”

Stress Reducing  “Calming“Foods

I wouldn’t suggest that you eat all these foods in one sitting (unless you are really stressed out) but here is a list of foods that just might lower your stress levels. They come from Olessa Pindak from Natural Health Magazine:

Spinach, turkey, whole grains, yogurt and cheese, citrus fruits, herbs (instead of salt), berries, Nori (seaweed wrapped around sushi – I’m thinking throw some in an omelet and leave the house). And if these don’t work, try chocolate. J

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I understand that feeling because a few years ago I was there. I found working with a coach while I was in school really helped me to get clear about my new direction in life. And being a mere mortal, I do have days when the future does feel shaky, but I have discovered ways to keep me going and I believe they can work for you also.

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Together we can develop creative solutions for today.

        

I am not a regular visitor to block parties and all that goes on, but it is really geared toward the kids. They made smores along with their own ice cream sundaes, mummified willing victims with toilet paper and went on a scavenger hunt. With the help of my sister, Christine, the Cassidy team had chop sticks made out of twigs and a drawing of a fake nose as opposed to one of Michael Jackson’s.  So much cheating for only a second place spot.  We demanded a recount.

At the end of the block was this huge inflatable obstacle course. It looked like a huge plastic castle and kids would work their way through it and then run right back on line. I saw all the fun these kids were having in comparison to me sitting around. I was having one of those, “if this is how we adults are supposed to behave – keep it” moments and decided that I needed to change. I decided I was not going to sit on the sidelines and just watch. I was going to risk limb, life and reputation (so overrated) and go for it.   But not in a skirt.

Armed in a pair of shorts and my uncanny ability to forget my age, I got on line. I got a couple of looks. From the kids on line. I made faces right back at them. Mature immaturity is a beautiful thing if it is used for the good of all.

It was a blast. In that crowded space were 2 of my nephews, Joshua and Dylan, who helped me when I fell (a lot), my sister who was keeping up with me or was it the other way around and my 2 year old niece, Celeste, who was on her 2^nd trip through this obstacle course. It was great to be legless and laughing like a goofy (albeit cool) kid. I just didn’t care.  I challenged myself to have a good old time and I did. I made it up the plastic rock wall on one trip (so there!) and was a bit disappointed when I saw I was at the end and had to go down the slide. Behind me came an assortment of family members and sweet Celeste who may not remember this time when her mother and I kept up with her, but I am sure that we will have time in between physical therapy sessions to remind her that we are not slowing down and missing out on the fun. Refusing to tap into our “child self” or thinking that we must act dignified at all times is so old.

Be a kid.

BTW, I did 2 miles on the treadmill the following morning. On an incline. Without screaming too much.

        

Maybe it comes from years of personal experience, but I try to be so careful about what I say about myself – either to myself or to the general public. I leave all the sarcastic slings to a few close friends. They need and want the practice.

Most people don’t say the words, “I’m just” and follow it with…fabulous, so excited about my job (or future), so mindful of my own goodness, a healthy person with so much energy or phrases like, “I am just so grateful to be able to get up each day and explore new options.”

No, nowadays it just seems to come in the form of “I’m just not getting anyplace with this job,” “I’m just never going to move ahead with my life,” and my personal least favorite one, “I’m just not good enough to matter.”

What I find unbelievable is hearing negative, self defeating putdowns coming from intelligent, clever and creative people. People who have so much potential – just ask them when they are not beating up on themselves and are focused on their goals. But the CD they play in their minds come from years of self doubt along with the biting and hurtful words from some lovely individuals (who are probably dealing with a basketful of self sabotaging DVDs themselves) who helped reinforce all that personality pollution that whirls around a perfectly fine brain.

We can change the way we view ourselves by changing the channel in our head. It won’t happen overnight, but become aware of your self defeating slogans. Make 2009 the year of the Positive Affirmations. Make your platform one that is filled with uplifting and optimistic statements.

Stop yourself when the words, “I’m just” start to form on your lips. Rethink and rework that statement before uttering it.

Try to look at it this way – when we were kids, we couldn’t say certain words or else we would suffer some nasty consequences. Start to think of “I’m just” as a phrase that could cause your dear great grandmother Tillie to faint dead away. Or even better, utter those words and have a “time out corner” dedicated in your name. Let “I’m just” start to taste like Irish Spring on your tongue. I can still taste it, but that’s a whole different newsletter. Mmmmm…good.

One way to strike it rich before “I’m just” leaves your repertoire is to keep a jar handy and every time you say that dastardly expression, throw in a dollar. You just might jet off to Europe for a month’s vacation, all expenses paid, or you just might end up with moths flying around the jar.

As philosopher Earl Nightingale states, “You become what you think about!”