Step Two was about writing your own affirmations to help you stay positive.

Step Three got you off the sofa and exercising your right to be fit and trim.

Step Four was all about taking the time to meditate and getting centered in your universe.

Step Five found you getting silly and feeling better for letting your hair way down.

Step Six You know what it is. No, well then get quiet ask your Intuition.

Step Seven is about empowering the world when you volunteer.

Step Eight gave you permission to whine a little bit. Just a little bit.

Step Nine taught you that “Just” is just another four-letter word.

Now that we are on Step 10. I hope that you will all keep your eye on all the things that make us grateful to be alive at the beginning of 2010.  We have come a long way. We know that having a fulfilling and fun life (yes, life needs to be fun for adults also) can mean shattering the glass ceiling or painting it purple. We have seen the rewards that hard work can bring, and we should always look forward to changing or reinventing ourselves whether it is where we will live, whom we will love or what laws and social mores will work for us. Or need to be changed.

Some days, gratitude shows up; some days, we have to dig deep for it, but it is there. At the end of a long day,  go over all the things you are grateful for: your child’s smile, an opportunity to help someone, the weather did not cause a bad hair day, your husband’s offer to cook (or bring home take out) and a foot rub that will bring a perfect ending to a day that started out 18 hours earlier. Keep the knowledge that in the days to come, you will see glimmers of happiness and potential as long as you stay alert and open to what life will throw your way and know for sure that the good news is that there is good news in our lives.

        

Step Two was about writing your own affirmations to help you stay positive.

Step Three got you off the sofa and exercising your right to be fit and trim.

Step Four was all about taking the time to meditate and getting centered in your universe.

Step Five found you getting silly and feeling better for letting your hair way down.

Step Six You know what it is. No, well then get quiet ask your Intuition.

Step Seven is about empowering the world when you volunteer.

Step Eight gave you permission to whine a little bit. Just a little bit.

My hearing (or lack of it, according to some people) has become highly sensitive to the expression that begins with, “I’m just….”

Maybe it comes from years of personal experience, but I try to be so careful about what I say about myself —either to myself or to the general public.

Most women don’t say the words, “I’m just” and follow it with…“fabulous,” “so excited about my job (or future),” “so mindful of my own goodness,” “a healthy person with so much energy” or phrases like, “I am just so grateful to be able to get up each day and explore new options.”

No, nowadays it seems to proceed, “I’m just not getting anyplace with this job”; “I’m just never going to move ahead with my life”; and my least favorite, “I’m just not good enough to matter.”

You can change the way you view yourselves by adjusting the “just channel” in your heads. It won’t happen overnight, but you can start by becoming aware of their self-defeating slogans.

Try to look at it this way – when we were kids, we couldn’t say certain words or else we would suffer some nasty consequences. Start to think of “I’m just” as a phrase that could cause your dear great grandmother Tillie to faint dead away. Or even better, utter those words and have a “time out corner” dedicated in your name. Let “I’m just” start to taste like Irish Spring on your tongue. I can still taste it, but that’s a whole different story.  Mmmmm…good.

One way to strike it rich before “I’m just” leaves your repertoire is to keep a jar handy and every time you say that dastardly expression, throw in a dollar. You just might jet off to Europe for a month’s vacation, all expenses paid, or you just might end up with moths flying around the jar.

I am just so sure that we can change the way we think about ourselves.

Ralphie from ‘A Christmas Story’ said he became a connoisseur of soap because his mom so often stuck bars of soap in his mouth.  I wonder if it was for saying “just?”

        

Step Two was about writing your own affirmations to help you stay positive.

Step Three got you off the sofa and exercising your right to be fit and trim.

Step Four was all about taking the time to meditate and getting centered in your universe.

Step Five found you getting silly and feeling better for letting your hair way down.

Step Six You know what it is. No, well then get quiet ask your Intuition.

Step Seven is about empowering the world when you volunteer.

Okay it is time to take off the sweet persona that we show to the world and whine, but only for less than five minutes. Otherwise, it starts to get ugly.

Who said a dream recognized would mean a life without annoying interruptions? I know better than to utter those words.

We live here and we can’t all go move to a deserted island. Oh, some could, but then we’d have a lot of people wanting to visit and that would get annoying. Insert whine.

Since we are all living on this planet, the deal is to let everyone live in peace, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get crabby once in a while. It’s alright.  It’s our right.  We need to know that to whine is divine as long as something good comes out of it. It could be the end of a relationship that has been toxic, a new idea cropping out of all the venting, or a feeling of cleansing and freedom.

If it’s good for the soul than I approve.  In fact, I feel a whine coming on right now. Four minutes and 27 seconds.  I just beat my best time and I feel so much better.

Whine on!

        

ec: Hey Corinne, thanks for taking the time to chat with me about your company, Urban Darling. Before we jump into all the pluses of working with Urban Darling, I am always curious where people come up with the names for their companies. What I love about Urban Darling is that you take on a different personae just by saying Urban Darling. I know when I say it I spend a little more time on the word darling…so do tell.

CP: This idea come to me that when I was starting a company I wanted a cool name that was easy to say and easy to spell. People butcher my name and I was really tired of that. Quite embarrassing too when you are in an interview and someone says your name incorrectly (not that you do Elizabeth, you are darling) so I opened up an Excel Spreadsheet and had 4 categories. I forget what they are now, but I brainstormed all these adjectives that described who I thought I wanted to represent and Urban Darling were on top of one another – I went to www.urbandarling.com and found that is was available and I bought it. I felt like I got a kiss from the Universe!

ec: Why did you first sense that fashion along with shopping were two passions that were in your DNA?

CP: Haa haa, yes definitely in my DNA – my mother is a nurse by trade and a seamstress by passion. She sewed all of her own clothing in high school. I used to joke that she would prop her Vogue magazines on her belly when I was cooking. It was infused into me. I remember when I was 10 years old and ESPRIT was big and so was pink and grey – I had this matchy matchy outfit that I loved but no SHOES to go with it. I was heartbroken and decided to wear my mother’s pink jellies (a full 2 sizes bigger) with the outfit. A fashionista was born.

ec: What made you believe that the time was right for Urban Darling? What expertise in your own background gave you the moxie to forge ahead with a company that does much more then just help women put this with that? From what I can tell, you have given women the right to feel great about themselves and the right to look freaking fabulous without breaking the bank or a sweat.

CP: Absolutely – we give a woman her permission back. It is an intimate experience for a lot of our clients; we connect and make them shine.
You know, I lead with my intuition and starting Urban Darling for me was as simple as this “Am I going to be an action person or am I am someone who says they are going to do something and never does it.” I got tired of hearing my own thoughts. I had enough leadership training, it was time to turn all of that inward. Since August of 2006 I have been a machine and asked myself “why didn’t I do this sooner?”

ec: I like how you market Urban Darling as the working woman’s wardrobe stylist. It seems that by working with one of Urban Darling’s fashion consultants a woman can discover a more confident and sassy version of herself along with one less thing to have to worry about in her demanding, time crunched life. Can you tell us more about Urban Darling’s philosophy?

CP: Our philosophy is simple: Urban Darling is defining, cultivating and revolutionizing the approach to wardrobe consulting with everyday luxury, humor, signature style, and living a modern life with sophistication and splash of sass. We are eco-friendly paying the purged wardrobe items forward to charities. Care to join the revolution?

ec: A lot of women look into their closets and bemoan the fact that they have nothing to wear. I believe sometimes women don’t because they fall in love (or hate) with clothing that will never work with anything in their closets and well intentioned garments are banished to the dark corner of the closets. When you take on a new client how do you help them renew, reinvent, recapture their wardrobe and embrace their new sense of style?

CP: Good question Elizabeth. It is really a bit different for everyone. We go through a closet audit with the Purge Merge Splurge™ process. Purge is touching every piece of clothing and put it in one of three piles: Keep, Alter, Donate. The worst of closets have treasures in those dark corners. We have the hind and fore sight to make educated decisions with our clients about their wardrobe.
Merge is taking what is left over and we will show you how to make the most of your current clothes and accessories.  We’ll talk about how to mix and match your current pieces, create new combinations and outfits and suggest pieces you may want to add that really reflect the personal style you are creating.
Splurge with the pared down wardrobe there is now room for some new things.  We’ll shop and show you how to find those great new pieces that reflect your style, budget, life and most of all, make you smile.

ec: When you or one of your Closet Auditors comes in to revamp a closet does every item get marching orders or do you hold onto basics and unique pieces?

CP: We always hold on to basics, unless a client has worn them to the ground, then we replace!

ec: How do your wardrobe stylists walk their clients through the Purge, Merge and Splurge! ™ program? And are there a lot of tears and gnashing of teeth during the process? I read that all gently worn clothing marked for the purge pile is donated to a local charity and your client gets a tax deduction. So Urban Darling is an eco-friendly company with a heart.

CP: We are eco-friendly! We try not to annihilate a wardrobe, which will cause anxiety. Although some women love it, I have to admit. We love giving back, in fact it is one of the philosophies we adhere to.

ec: One trend I have seen more of and just love is shopping for vintage clothing and updating one’s wardrobe with the help of a consignment shop. Do you encourage your clients to rethink where their clothing comes from and finally what is so great about going off the beaten path when adding one of a kind gems to ones wardrobe?

CP: We do. We take the accessory route for vintage and antique pieces. I am not a vintage expert – we’d love to have someone who is!

ec: What do you see as becoming fashion forward statements in 2010? Will we still be mixing plaid with stripes, toppling over in heels that go up to there (but they do make our legs the center of the universe) or is fashion going to be making a quieter, more gentler statement (hope not)?

CP: Honestly, I have no idea. I mean that the designers are a bit of a loss with where their direction is. Florals? Ewww. Shoulder pads?? WTH?? I mean I know we recycle style, but what we are seeing now is not that different than 1987. I wish they were more bold. I do like Zack Lo Shoes though…he’s got talent and gumption. We need someone to get creative.

ec: With all the success that Urban Darling has bought you still make time to give back to up and coming entrepreneurs. What are some of the pros and cons you tell them to consider before they start own business?

CP: I tell them they won’t make the big bucks the first couple of years! I am beginning my 4th year in August and 2009 was 50% down from 2008. You have to have an iron stomach, not take things personal “It’s just business” and have a passion that makes you want to turn naked cart wheels in the street.

ec: What are your future plans for Urban Darling?

CP: Oh we are going big. I am licensing to women who want to break into wardrobe styling or join their own styling company with a brand that is about to knock the socks off the world. I want 30 chapters of Urban Darling by end of 2011!

ec: If people are interested in channeling their inner wardrobe stylist and becoming part of the Urban Darling Dynasty, how can they connect with you?

CP: Two ways: email me at Corinne@urbandarling.com or pick up the phone and call me at 408 332 3655

ec: I thank you for taking the time to talk to us about Urban Darling and its philosophy for bringing out the best in our wardrobe and ourselves.. And finally, do these shoes go with this outfit?

CP: Oh thank you Elizabeth, this is awesome to get to talk about the company!

Corinne Phipps: Trendsetter, Entrepreneur, Fashion Correspondent for NBC Bay Area and Founder of Urban Darling®.

        

But sometimes quiet can be nice.

I finally had to bring in our latest and oldest cat, Mickey, to the vet. Mickey had been living under the false pretenses that litter boxes are for other cats.  I explained that our peaceful home had become a battlefield (and bathroom) due to a few personality clashes. $300 later they agreed with me. Could have saved a lot of money (translation- more shoes) if they listened to me in the first place. We both coughed up a fur ball but not before getting prozac for Mickey. Tuna flavored.  Was told it goes well with red wine.

It is amazing what we will do to get some peace and quiet. All those products from ear plugs to 3 months on an ashram. I couldn’t do the latter without a razor and gum. And red wine. With a side of tuna prozac.

FYI – both Duncan and Mickey are on prozac but the fighting goes on. I find it does take the edge off for me.  Walter, the quiet man, is getting used to my tuna flavored prozac breath.  

        

W’s father became quite ill and we spent almost 3 days in the hospital. Do you know what a hospital chair can do to a relatively strong back? Turns it into pulsating, quivering, throbbing ball of human flesh and muscles as per the Goddess of Crappy Hospital Chairs’  instructions. Being hunchbacked will forever ruin my chances at being a shoe model.

But I did take some of the downtime to go to the cafeteria, have a coffee, a fiber bar and write.With a pen. No laptop for me. For I am a life coach and you can’t get a laptop no matter how hard you smile at the salesmen.  I revised advertising copy for a friend’s newsletter; I answered some probing questions put to me by a fellow blogging friend; I wrote some copy for an upcoming Coaches on the Edge blog and I squeezed my butt muscles the whole time I was down there. No wonder my back feels like crap.

So today I am back to being held accountable. I even got up this morning at 5:30 to listen to my 30 minute mediation tape (I didn’t get up – just laid there in bed – must have taken some truth serum) and then walked for 1.41 miles on the treadmill. Plan to do another 2 miles later today. Just to show my back who is in charge. Right now it’s: Back – 5,  The rest of me – 1.

And I got back to writing my blog.    

Do tell – how was your week?

graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

        

I am lucky to say that I live with a wonderful ex-chef who makes fabulous meals.  He has agreed to help me out (after about 6 days of begging but whatever works!). I bought the Flat Belly cookbook and he even “post-it” a few recipes but said most of them are about portion control.

I realized sadly that I normally eat twice my weight when my chef takes a night off and we order take out. So I told him no more take out and on the evenings that he deserves a night off, I will find myself in the kitchen and putting together something that resembles food. So this was good news. Today is Day One. Yesterday was Moe’s Mexican food.                      

The other thing I realized that is has to taste so bloody good for me to go off this new way of eating – my new lifestyle. If I am going to have the best Mexican food again it will be from the Mexican deli on Valencia in San Francisco. It will also be a very expensive meal since I live in NY. So I will let you know when hell freezes over.

I did more work on the coaches on the edge’s book proposal and got some of it back from my copyeditor friend. Once these sections are done – we will be that much closer to getting it out to overly eager literary agents who will get us a great publisher who will give us anything we want. That’s legal.

I am keeping this short and I hope you will join in and let us know how you are doing and how we can help keep you on track. One of the things I want to do is take better care of me. So I did 2.14 miles on the treadmill and now I am off to have a HOT, smoothing bath. Here is NY the wind is whipping and the temps are really dipping below zero.   

So do tell!

        

I have been living under a rock when it has come to taking care of me, myself and I. I have worked my butt off all year (and yet my butt still clings to me like a whiny child) and I look around and I am round in a lot of the wrong places.  I would send a photo but my old camera died (we suspect it went out of focus one too many times) and the new one that Santa bought me is consulting with its lawyer.

So I talked about doing this and then I forgot to do it and then I came up with a 1000 excuses and now I am back to say that I have had it and would like a new start. This is where you all come in. I want to do a blog on getting healthy (had to say that so it doesn’t seem like it is all about weight lost) and I would love anyone who wants to join me come in and let’s get busy and support each other. BTW – it is all losing the weight. I would hate to start this off as a big fat liar.
that sort of looks like me. if there was no sun out and it was midnight.

I would like to blog 2-3 times a week about my progress but I would like this to be about all of you who would like to change or start something in your lives. I want to be there for you and vice versa.

We can hold each other accountable.

Okay, I will start:
lose 20 lbs. the healthy way – eating right and exercising more
Get the Coaches on the Edge book proposal out to literary agencies by Feb. 2010. It was originally for Jan. 2010 but now I am going to set time up (big chunks of time) to get it done. I have a wonderful friend who is a copyeditor and she is helping us to keep it tight and real. Thanks, Nicole!
I will make time everyday to stop and get quiet. If you knew how hard this is for me to do, you will know that this is BIG!

All right. Enough about me….unless you would like me to go on! What can I do to help keep you reach a goal? We are all in it together, so I am hoping that some of you will jump in and let’s make this new year the year of simplifying our lives by getting rid of things that are stopping us from moving ahead.

So who would like to join me?  I have been known to beg. It ain’t pretty.

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

        

elizabeth: Some voices come with the sugary, succulent juice of kindness slipping off the chin. And some voices look at the seeds of a fried jalapeño pepper as their daily multiple vitamin.

We all have a voice that the world needs to hear. Some of us bellow from the rooftops while others talk right into their chests allowing only their heart to hear. Those are the people who drive me to distraction and back. To deny one his/her voice takes away from what the rest of us have been hammering home about.

A wonderful Italian proverb makes its case against silence: Silence was never written down. I say don’t leave this planet without the benefit of your voice being heard. If you are willing to see how your voice sounds, your words could change the world.  Can you imagine a world without Sylvia Plath, Tennessee Williams, Lennon/McCartney or myself?  I always wanted to be in the same sentence as with John Lennon. See what having a voice does? It gives you permission.

Annie: We need to be proud and speak without fear.  Our biggest fear is of not being liked or accepted.  Isn’t that silly because not everyone can like us.  When we stay small and don’t dare to rock the boat with our words we live in a wizened little world.  Like a crazen (a dried cranberry raisen), we feel a little more trapped every day.

We gotta take risks to speak what isn’t spoken. I like to call it speaking raw and real.  Do you want people to get the fake you or the real deal?  It’s up to you.

elizabeth: Fear is one of those roadblocks that prevents a pile up of thoughts from going

anywhere. Blogging has allowed me the freedom to say whatever I want. Okay, I am one of these people who will never hurt or put down (except for a few politicians and then I can’t help myself) others but I will tackle an idea that rubs me the wrong or right way.

I will be sassy, sarcastic and over the top but then there are those moments (and they are rare) where I will be loving and selfless to the point where my family and friends won’t recognize me. But if it calls for it, then I can allow that writing side of me out of the trapdoor. And then I am only too happy to lock it up again.

So I am a blogger who lives to find the right phrase or word that can turn someone’s life around by making them stop and think. And making them laugh out loud. So if that makes me a lover of five alarm hot sauce, then please pass me the bottle. 

Annie: I will pass you the bottle as soon as I’m finished with it.  Ok here it comes, I just

poured it all over my computer to make sure that I don’t skimp on the spice in my blog.  I

dare to say it raw and real because that’s what the world needs . Even though it is scary, hey I like to be liked too, I’d rather risk than die unlived. And that’s what happens when we don’t speak truth.  We die with bundles of words tied up inside of us.

There is a story about an Italian mailman who felt his mail bundle was too heavy.  Every day he would stop by his house and drop off a few letters so his load was lighter.  Years later they found a mountain of undelivered letters at his house!  Don’t let your words go undelivered. Take courage, team up and go for it.  Spicy, hot, sweet, straight and juicy.  That’s our style and we hope it makes a difference in your world.

Yours in speaking loud and proud,

Annie and elizabeth!

Annie Hart, NLP Trainer, Ericksonian Hypnotherapist and Storyteller Extraordinaire, helps individuals and businesses to harness the power of change through story. She is fun, funny, fiery and out of the box. Annie believes that Stories Change the World and she can be found wildly and passionately blogging at: www.anniehart.com.

elizabeth cassidy, certified life and career coach for women who are looking to reach and surpass their dreams, is the founder of Branching Out Life Coaching. She is the Co-Creator/Founder of Coaches on the Edge – a blog that mixes wit and wisdom with life coaching. Visit us at Coaches on the Edge. Along with her blogging partner, Laurie Lawson, they are national bloggers for Skirt! and their blogs have been featured on USA Today.com, Daylife.com, NPR.com, NBC.com, Treehugger.com and The India Times. You can read elizabeth’s own thought provoking and amusing blogs at Branchingoutlifecoaching